The Art of Erotica
A Guide to Writing Steamy Dialogue
Dialogue has always been the most powerful tool for authors to convey emotion with, but in spicy scenes, the dialogue becomes the spark that sets the whole scene alight. The most effective steamy dialogue will amplify the tension, deepen the emotional intimacy between your characters and will get your readers to take a five minute breather to regain their composure. Here are some of my top tips and things to remember for bringing the heat - no matter what genre you might be writing in:
Tip 1: Maintaining Character Voice
Have you ever read a book where the chemistry between the characters is so palpable and you’re eagerly awaiting the moment for them to rip each other’s clothes off only for that moment to come and completely fall flat as soon as they open their mouths? Well I have, and nothing kills the mood faster than the second hand embarrassment it makes the reader feel. Where some authors seem to go wrong is making their characters say something during an intimate scene that doesn’t sound like them. For example, if you were to have a shy character who struggles to communicate throughout the novel, they aren’t suddenly going to be speaking poetry in the bedroom and become more dominant. Or say your characters are everyone’s favourite enemies to lovers trope, maintaining those verbal sparring matches even in the bedroom are vital to maintaining their character dynamic.
Having your character’s voice completely change during a spicy scene can often make the moment feel disjointed in comparison to the tension that has been building during their everyday conversations, and inevitably weakens the dialogue. There is also the risk of a character’s voice falling into the cringe category very easily: if the characters sound like they are in a) a low budget porn movie from the 80s or b) a very intense monologue in a Shakespeare play, you’re not nailing the dialogue. Take a second to stop and think ‘would this character actually say this?’ to try and keep scenes as authentic as possible. That being said, reading a character who has had a facade of confidence that makes them more naturally dominant become vulnerable when it comes to intimacy can make a scene even hotter. Ultimately, you as a writer know your characters better than anyone and it is vital that you write a dialogue that remains true to them.
Tip 2: A Tool For Pacing
Dialogue is a powerful tool when it comes to the pacing of sex scenes. If a scene is written to be completely physical with no natural pauses for dialogue, it ends up feeling rushed for the person reading it. Slowing down the spice with dialogue not only prevents this from happening, but also carves out space for more emotions to be shown, prolonging the intimacy between two characters.
The dialogue can also reflect the pace at which two characters are moving. If a character is talking in shorter sentences, with a kind of breathlessness and urgency, we as readers can understand the intensity of the moment, whereas, if they are talking in more drawn out sentences, it reflects a need to take things slow and let the desire build. The latter type of dialogue is almost a necessity when writing post-sex aftercare scenes for example, where characters are in a bubble of bliss, exchanging their thoughts and feelings and small touches after the passionate moment they just shared.
Tip 3: Revealing More Emotions
Sex scenes are not just about stripping characters back physically but emotionally too. When intimacy finally happens, it can be very vulnerable, and so dialogue which reflects that allows your characters to deepen their emotional connection. So many emotions can be shown through even the simplest of dialogue, from lust to fear, to admiration and yearning, the opportunities for emotional reflection are vast. These scenes are often turning points in the relationships between characters and including dialogue which often feels like peeling back someone’s walls makes the moment emotionally charged and raw.
You could also have the character say one thing but the way in which they say it or their body language can hint that they mean something else entirely. Dialogue like this is perfect for developing layers to a character who perhaps has more trauma as it allows readers to hear the unspoken confessions lingering beneath their uncertain or untrue words. You might have one character accidentally say something in the heat of the moment when they shouldn’t have, perhaps something like an “I love you” confession, which can completely flip the scene from something physical to something much more heartfelt and profound.
Tip 4: Establishing Kinks and Power Dynamics
Dialogue can be a great indication of who is in control in a sex scene. Instead of describing a character’s various kinks, it is much more effective to show it through dialogue. A dominant character is going to be more direct and speak in commands compared to a submissive character who will ask questions and perhaps be more hesitant in their speech at first. This is also a more natural way of allowing kinks to develop in a scene. Rather than over-explaining what a kink is through narration, have a character be suggestive or teasing in their speech which in some way alludes to a certain kink. Simply using phrases such as “you like that, don’t you?” when a character demonstrates some form of kink, whether it be dominance, restraints or light choking, and the other character’s response to it, reveals kinks through their natural reactions to each other.
When establishing kinks, it is also important to establish consent. Consent does not have to take away from the intensity of a sex scene, it can heighten it when woven into the dialogue. Having explicit check-ins can pave the way for enthusiastic consent from the other party. Character A could be restraining Character B and state, ‘tell me if this is too much for you’ to which Character B might respond, ‘please—don’t stop’, demonstrating that consent dialogue can be powerful; instead of taking away from the moment, it deeps the trust between the two characters.
Below I have compiled a list of some dialogue examples which best showcase the above writing tips (and some of Hear of Her Press’ favourite spicy speech!) and the books they are written in:
“‘Well, well, well,’ I say against her ear as she thrashes. Her sweet scent of fresh herbs and citrus floods my nostrils.
‘I am going to hazard a guess that you've been up to no good.’”
(Page 206, Tourist Season by Brynne Weaver)
This doesn't take place in an explicit scene, although that depends on your definition. It takes place just before the 'she' in question commits murder. Context aside, the dialogue itself is exciting and evocative. It is only short but it certainly is sexy. The language and phraseology is sensual. It is intelligent and naughty - it embodies the thrill you feel when caught doing something you shouldn't.
“‘Girly?’
‘I give up.’
‘What?’
I took a deep breath.
‘I give in to you.’ [...] For one agonising minute, I thought he would say no. But I could see the restrained desire in the way he tried to control his breathing, and the way his eyes warred between emerald and red.
‘Kaspar, I want you. Right here. Right now. And I won't ask nicely more than once.’ He didn't reply, but his lips crushed to mine, ferocious, anxious, with urgency incomparable.”
(Pages 316-317, The Dark Heroine: Dinner with a Vampire by Abigail Gibbs)
Violet is strong willed and it shows in her forwardness. She commands him, a vampire much older and more powerful, to give her what she wants. Despite her words, this is not a submission. It is a mutual taking.
“Tunuva tilted her head back as sweetness flared between her legs, tended by a tongue like fire and hands that knew exactly where and how to touch. She gripped the sheet, her breath fraying. Just as she reached the horizon of release, Esbar slid on top of her in one smooth movement so their hearts were aligned. ‘Not yet,’ she whispered. ‘Stay with me, lover.’
[...] Esbar was quick in many things, but in this, she had always taken her time. [...] Tunuva held still, gazing down at her. Esbar raised an eyebrow. ‘What?’ [...]
‘You,’ she said, [...] ‘Always you.’ She made her slow way downward, caressing as she went. [...]
‘Exhilarated though I am,’ Esbar said, ‘I wonder what brought on such a surge of lust.’ [...]
‘Saghul asked me if I had ever questioned our purpose,’ she said, her voice low. ‘I told her that I had, and I told her when.’
'Ah, that day.' Esbar shifted to face her, hooking a warm thigh across her waist. 'It was not so long after that,' she said softly, ‘that I knew what it was to miss you for the first time.’ Tunuva pressed close and kissed her."
(Pages 65-66, A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon)
A moment of deep intimacy between two women who have clearly loved one another for years. It is not explicit, but it lays bare their mutual worship and adoration that is revealed in the conversation occurring in-between the passion.
“Lukas’s hand cups my face, thumb pressing against the corner of my mouth. ‘Still okay with this?’
Another eager nod. Truth is, I don’t want him to check in on me. I want to be free of it. I want him to—
‘You just want to be told exactly what to do, don’t you?’ he says quietly, with a small smile. Because he truly understands. ‘Right now, you just want to be a mouth, huh?’
(Page 157, Deep End by Ali Hazelwood)
This moment in Deep End perfectly demonstrates how to weave consent into dialogue without it taking away from the couple’s power dynamic and the charged moment between them.
“‘It missed my heart,’ he murmured. ‘But you have not. What can I give you Phryne, for the gift of your body?’
‘The gift of yours,’ said Phryne, trapping his mouth again.”
(Page 64, Death at Victoria Dock by Kerry Greenwood)
The dynamic these two characters have is one of equals where she is on a higher social level but he is a well respected figure in the criminal underworld. The way their intimacy unfolds makes it clear that Peter feels he needs to ‘deserve’ Phryne, while she assures him that is not the case. This moment prior to sex reveals emotion and adds to their relationship dynamic while still remaining sexy and conveying their want to the reader.
“‘None I swear! I’ve never wanted anyone else.’
‘And you never will,’ he said firmly, as if he could make it true simply by saying it.
‘Never! Please, Turner, please…I need you. I need–’
‘I know what you need.’
(Page 284, The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever by Julia Quinn)
This scene comes near the end of the book, after a point earlier on where it seemed as though Miranda might become engaged to Turner's brother. Again, the dialogue conveys their relationship very well, with his insecurity and her sincerity colliding in a passionate and intense moment during sex. Their words do very heavy lifting in terms of putting across the desperation of their situation on both parts and still showcasing their more dominant and submissive dynamic respectively.